Never compromise your worth
Mymother always worried about what others think of her. Even after all these years, the fear is still present.
Meekness was her way of dealing with it. Growing up, I watched and learnt from her to never ask for more. The golden rule was to always undervalue myself.
Her lack of confidence became my role model for self sabotage.
I often worried about what I looked like, what others thought of me, how they felt if I dared do something that might go against what they expect.
The more I put myself down to appear less egotistical, less forward, less unruly and less of everything possible, the more I was holding back my chance to truly learn, to make mistakes, to flourish and thrive by pushing my personal limits.
I grew up undervaluing my worth and passed up opportunities because I thought I was not worthy. It made me feel like a fraud even when I was chosen for it. I often thought myself as an imposter.
Undervaluing my worth messed up my sense of self and ignored my instincts. It made me fearful and portrayed a girl that lacked confidence to the world.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. “
— Eleanor Roosevelt
After moving out, I made a conscious choice to accept and believe in myself. It was terrifying at first but as I started to open myself up to the world, the world returned in kind with mentors, experiences and opportunities.
To my mother, putting yourself down is an act of humility. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that we project what we believe. If that belief is that we are not worth the person that we are, the other person looking back at us will only value you as much.
If I don’t even believe in my own worth, who will?
By letting others determine my worth, I gave them a power that they shouldn’t have. My self worth shouldn’t be determined by others. By taking ownership of my worth, I stopped compromising my identity and became a happier and healthier version of myself.
When I accepted and determined my own worth, my confidence grew and allowed me to trust my instincts. I dared to ask for more and as a result I got more. Most of the time I got good results, other times I got rejected.
The combination of these things helped me grow, flourish and find a voice I never knew I had.