Day 5: Learning the Process of Patience
Today I spent most of my time sorting out my online store. While I had the urge to tear everything down and begin again, a part of me refrained.
That’s always been my issue — I try to build something as perfectly at the time and then look back at it and decide to begin again. Bigger. Better. More perfect than before. But before any results can appear, I would tear it all down and begin again, mostly in the name of self doubt.
Today I resisted that urge and rather than tearing down, I continued to build on what I already have.
I reminded myself that there was no need to begin again every time. The million of unfinished projects I’ve got are actually different versions of the same thing.
One of these incarnations is my desire to be a writer. I would have stories fleshed out and complicated story lines. But before I could make it past the first few chapters, I would get impatient and run out of steam. I would stop and begin again.
As I grew older, I shifted to blogging instead. I would create blogs and tear them down, over and over again until it was no longer fun. After some time, I stopped and started writing on Medium.
This must be my third attempt to consistently write. Except I did something different this time. I didn’t delete all my old work. I decided to break the pattern and continue beyond the points I would normally stop at.
Some months I would write a lot. Some months I had to force myself to write. And now here I am, writing every day with posts that are older than 3 months.
I’ve never made it past the 3 months mark before.
I have an end goal. With every project I’ve made, there’s always a goal of sorts, except my mistake is that I would often dream about it without having the patience for the process.
To get anywhere and to achieve anything is a process. Processes are formulas to achieve an outcome and formulas can be repetitive. Learning to love the repetition is a special kind of new skill and today, I’ve consciously decided to let myself learn that skill.